The “Wait, I Have a Card” Moment
Overcoming the Hesitation to Connect
We’ve all been there: You’re standing in line for coffee, walking through a park, or sitting on a train. You have a “You Matter” card tucked safely in your pocket or bag. You notice someone who looks like they could use a little boost—a smile, a reminder that they aren’t alone. You think, “I should give them this card.”
And then, the hesitation hits.
Your mind starts racing. “Will they think it’s weird?” “What if they reject it?” “Am I interrupting them?”
Why We Hesitate (And Why It’s Usually Wrong)
In a 2021 study on public transit, researchers found that people often avoid engaging with strangers because they assume others don’t want to be bothered. The reality? Most people are actually more receptive to a kind gesture than we give them credit for. We think we’re being “appropriate” by staying silent, but we’re actually depriving ourselves and others of a meaningful, feel-good moment (Parker, 2021).
How to Push Through the Hesitation
When you feel that “Wait, I have a card” moment coming on, try these strategies to lower the barrier:
Challenge Your Assumptions: Ask yourself, “What evidence do I have that this person will react negatively?” Most of the time, the answer is none. If the worst-case scenario is someone being indifferent, remember that your worth and the value of your kindness isn’t diminished by one person’s reaction.
Focus on the “Kindness Mindset”: Acts of kindness don’t just benefit the recipient. They release dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin in your brain, which can actually reduce your own stress and blood pressure (Siegle, 2023). When you focus on the positive chemical reward and the goal of connection rather than how you give a card out, the fear begins to fade.
Remember: It’s Not About Being Perfect
The goal isn’t to be a charismatic salesperson for kindness. It’s simply to be human. Whether you hand the card over with a short “I thought you might like this” or simply leave it on a table, the message itself does the heavy lifting.
The next time you’re hesitant, take a breath and remember: that person you’re worried about approaching is just as human, and just as in need of a reminder that they matter, as you are. Don’t let your inner narrator talk you out of a moment of genuine connection. Go out and share a card today.
Unlock the Magic of the Mattering Summit
We’re excited to offer you a way to revisit every inspiring moment of the Mattering Summit. When you make a minimum donation of $20 to the You Matter Marathon, you’ll receive lifetime access to the recordings from the Mattering Summit. It’s a wonderful opportunity to dive into the sessions and hear from our incredible speakers again. Your contribution not only grants you this archive but also helps us continue spreading the “You Matter” message around the globe.
You Matter T-Shirts Are Back!
To take your impact a step further, buy an official You Marathon T-Shirt from our online store. They are incredibly comfortable, perfect for everyday wear, and act as a walking invitation for connection. Simply wearing your shirt out and about is an effortless way to spark meaningful conversations and remind everyone you cross paths with that they truly matter.
You matter.
Cheryl Rice, Founder
https://youmattermarathon.org/
Sources:
Parker, H., PhD. (2021, October 31). We waver when it comes to approaching and conversing with strangers, but why? Psychology Today. https://bit.ly/4wvWwYE.
Siegle, S., Psy. D. ,. L. P. C. (2023, August 17). The art of kindness. Mayo Clinic Health System. https://bit.ly/4bd0qgQ.
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